autumn in my heart.....

3days to go baby......huhuhu, lama nya...uwaaaaa...

U're the best thing......

howdy folks,

tralaaalaaaaaalaa........

new day, new beginning....

"my mummy tanya bila mahu kawin...umur sudah makin besar...lol, mummy neeehhhhh...."

herrmmmm, my mind is working suddenly...

evrybody always says – if u want somethng badly, u will get it. people always say a lots of crap dat dun make any sense at all. why do we make ourselves believe all that? life is juz random & dats f***kin' it, & we are not as special as we think. sometimes i wonder why things unravel da way they do. is there a point in everything? does evrythin happen for a reason? does even bad & unpleasant things happen for a reason? do we need bad experiences in life to build da character? & juz wen it is too much? coz u know wat, my character is build so much, dat if i build it any more, its going to crack da roof. people also say God will not give u anythin more than u can handle.herrmmm. dat must hv a reason. smetime some price i nd to pay to be better. i personally can take a lot less than is given to me. i’m trying to find somebody dat works ‘upstairs’, so dat i can tell em' i can take much less then they think, so if there’s any way we can fix dat, dat’d be cool.but they’re not picking up, i’m calling every day. haha, i hv face it alone as always dat da way it is. i always think about fairness in life. its kind of my obsession. i always try to measure fairness. & it’s da most useless ‘job’ in the world. as i thot about fairness da other day, something touched as if it was saying something to me. thot an interesting spin on fairness. it all kind of made sense, in all of da unsenslessness.why tiz extreme mood of mine, u ask? unfortunately, i can’t tell u. but its sure going to be an interesting read one day, i bet u dat. in de mean time, juz think & refresh ur mind about interesting thing, that thing call beautiful moment. without it, how wud we know dat everybody goes true same exact things in life.......

bangkok, here i come...wooohooo..!

abg JPJ

this morning on my way to ofc, ada sekatan JPJ...my car kali ini won't lucky to passing the road block. heheh...i know it so wrong, double layer gold dust tinted that i applied already 4yrs. but salah tetap salah right..when i pulled over the car at the road side my conversation with abg JPJ bukan krn tinted but :

abg JPJ : assalammualaikum dan selamat pagi...

me : waalaikummsalam, selamat pagi..

abg JPJ : boleh saya dpt kan kad pengenalan dan lesen memandu..

me : iya boleh tak mnjadi masalah..

abg JPJ : selalu guna laluan ini ya..

me : ya, hari-hari ke tempat kerja..

he went to the front to seeing my roadtax..

abg JPJ : cik kah atau puan ni??

me : masih lagi cik, cik drew please..

abg JPJ : oh masih belum berkahwin (sambil senyum manis kpd saya), maafkan saya bertanya..

me : ya, masih bujang en. rosli (sambil mata saya melirik ke name tag nya). tak mengapa dan berbalas senyuman...

abg JPJ : kereta sendiri ya? (sambil melihat lesen/kad pengenalan saya). Rim 17", cantik, byk pkai minyak ni...

me : ya betul (dan ketawa kecil)

abg JPJ : ok, terima kasih cik drew, hati-hati pandu kereta ya...(sambil dia menghulurkan semula kad pengenalan/lesen saya)

me : oh terima kasih, en. rosli...

abg JPJ : sama-sama, insyaallah kita jumpa lagi...

me : insyaallah (sambil tersenyum dan menekan button cermin kereta)...

selepas itu saya berlalu dan lihat my rare mirror abg rosli itu masih berdiri melihat kereta saya meninggal kan dia. LOL =).. he is so funny...

alasan kali ini........

howdy to all,

it's been an ages juga i tidak blogging due REASON of my condition, bizies ever, travelling, visiting my sayang serta kesulitan yg tidak dpt di elakkan... huhu, welkam back drew!

so let makin' some noise guys...lol. topic kali ini berkait with beberapa alasan dan just a mind rambling of wut happen to me recently :

bottom line, excuses dpt menyelesaikan byk masalah, tapi masalah tetap ada krn adanya alasan.......im i right??

anyway, let us not confuse an excuse for a reason. an excuse is a ploy to divert attention from ourselves & the reason. for example, my excuse for failing the maritime test wuz bcoz the teacher didn't explain well enough, & I didn't even know there wuz going to be a test, LOL. but the reason I failed the test wuz bcoz I wuz not prepared, not paying attention & did not seek additional assistance.

unfortunate but true, excuses seem to hv bcome a pastime. we create excuses for everything. with excuses we do not have to be accountable. with excuses we do not have to be responsible. with excuses we can hide. that is true right?

i wonder wut would happen if excuses were no longer acceptable?

individually, we could become better people. our intelligence could increase & our actions would be deliberate & thoughtful. we could evolve.

if we stop making excuses, we will be forced to accept the reality of our failures. we will have no choice but to allow the world to see our shortcomings. i do not believe we are prepared for that.

it is through fear that we make excuses. our society has become "experts in training" when it comes to the excuse making process. we will even, as a collective whole, make excuses for our behaviors, policies & actions, or lack thereof for that matter. as a society, we could concentrate on our failures. we can ensure the basic needs of a human being are available. we can learn to expand our understanding of other cultures & regions.

as human beings, we could meet the needs of our environment, rather than making our environment meet our needs. however, we are bound by excuses. one leading to the next whenever there is question, if the excuse is not good enough we search for a better one. we are addicted to excuses. we find ourselves making them when it is not even necessary. when there is absolutely no purpose for it, we will continue to make excuses.

well, we need excuses. we need them to make sense of the senseless, find sanity in the insane & a resemblance of order in chaos. Our excuses are the walls of stone that we construct. they are our silent shields, our perfect protection.

damai engkau disana,

it's been 1yr today. al-fatihah....
i miss u very much, how i wish to be longer with u....