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hanyalah random thot di pagi hari di kala hujan sdang renyai-renyai di ibukota,

even wen u think there's nottin to miss out on...there's always something, if u look closely, i can actually understand now wat it means....life at this point makes me think about dat! any moment is so precious.....but sometimes we forget, we bury ourselves deep into dat PIT called work...let's face it - there r very few of us dat actually hv a true pleasure & passion for wat they do at work! & even those dat do....are they truly happy??? konfius...

ermmm well, i hope dat all's well dat end well...
rezeki tuhan beri, tugas yg di galas adalah tanggungjawab yg perlu dijalankan...


like my "rakan" dat has an incredible passion for her career & has sacrificed every free minute, holiday, birthday...time with people she loves in order to get things done at work ...to go ''above and beyond'' as they say in some places... at da end of da day...if u ask her ''are u happy?''....wat she'd say to me was...

HER!
''NOOOOO! but wen im not in work i dont know wat to do with myself...i feel lost...i try to socialize...but i never do...i hv meaningless one nite stands dat leave me feeling empty da next day. & maybe once every 2 months catching up with frens...as if we lived in different parts of da country. i do not know how to relax & enjoy myself. i can't stand being at home alone. dats why i prefer to work!''


ironically, anybody dat wud meet my fren wud envy her success & da goals dat she reached professionally. still spiritually she feels lost...she has not managed to blend success with a personal life. it's probably one of da hardest things to do...i wudn't know...as i always put my emosi dulu...& i hate it! but i guess dats wat makes me -

ME!
it's also hard for most of us to enjoy life & cherish wat we hv, realizing one day it can be gone in a second...i learned all about dat last January losing someone very dear to me! the shock's effects r on going...& it's affected every aspect of my personality...always thot i was da strong one....well i've been proved otherwise...im kindda my rakan too cuma i dont wan to admit i was same as her...nanti ckp tak serupa bikin pula, sgt maluuuu....kaver diri sendiri, LOL...

and how about LOVE? If in love - we shud love with a passion, completely, intensely...sounds like big cheesy words...but if u dont, is dat really LOVE??? or shud u just let dat go? it's probably best to let something like dat go, something dat doesn't make ur heart jump, dat doesn't make u smile wen u think of dat person, dat doesn't make u long for dat person...& so on...u get me right??...and being honest..to urself...therefore to those close to u..Yes sometimes we may hurt someone we care about by being honest....but in da long run we're doing them a favour! it can only make them stronger & give us a backbone! and isn't it so true dat sometimes we r unhappy but we keep quiet....thinking dat through da ''magic'' of silence, thots will go away - but they never do!

what u run away from, always comes back to u!
sometimes i run away from thinking about things...but today i decided im going to allow these thots in...and spread them in this so-called random, journal...blog apasaja lah u wanna call it u name it...

doubt anybody will read this but if u do - Thank u for ur patience,,,...!! winky-winky =P

yadayadayada

nadine : hye beb, what is ur resolution for this year...

me : argghhh, malu laah mahu kata..

nadine : errmmm, tell me laah...

me : mahu kurus spt beyonce..

nadine : erkkk....talk to da hand babe....grrr....

2010

assalammualaikum & hi to all frens/viewers,

here are my wishes for u..,
H ours of happy times with friends & family
A bundant time for relaxation
P rosperity
P lenty of love when u need it the most
Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures
N ights of restful slumber (u know - dont' worry be happy)
E verything u need
W ishing u love & light
Y ears & years of good health
E njoyment & mirth
A angels to watch over u
R embrances of a happy years!

goodbye 2009,
welcome 2010.....

pemikiran logical dan critical

logical,
"dik, lagi 3hari jak mau new year.."
"ermmm, so?? mau divert juga kah?"
"tak lah, ckp jak. ko udah jadi sakai mngapa.."
"ermmm, bukan lah...tadi ibu juga kata bgini pd aku..i guess, u osso want to saiko me again.."
"LOL, u're wrong dik!"
"then what?"
"hutang ko pd aku bila mau bayar, ya udah masuk 2thn ni..."
"argggh ko mmg sia..."

ironical,

as life goes by so fast sometimes i just needed a while to think & i had a thot. it was a very depressing, complex thot. i had just finished discussing bout company operation plan with my mgr (yg bagaikan handal tu) & i was very tired but satisfied wit my performance & ideas that been threw out. i then thot: who am i, wat am i doing here? wat is here? i was konfius & suddenly saddened. i thot to myself, all that practicing & wat's the point of getting better. there shudn't be anything right now. there shuld be no such thing as coordinator much less a language or people as we call ourselves to even pronounce the word. i sat there looking at everything in a very complex way, analyzing everything from my hand to the internet. it then seemed like for a moment i had lost all my memory & in my mind i had a mere blank. then as i regained my sanity i began to look at the reality of this moment. slowly i walked to the window standing there & saw none stop pelbagai kenderaan down the street. i thot about my rock climbing practice & how i hv a homework assignment due tomorrow. i realized that if i go thru life thinking like i had been wat the point of it all was. sememangnya tuhan sudah men'destiny' kan takdir kita to live for in life & look forward too. perlu bersyukur sampai ke hari ini masih bernafas dan menikmakti atas segala pemberianNYA. this is purpose i was in here iaitu bekerja makan gaji sbg coordinator alaf baru yg mcm bagus, LOL.. then i thot if i'm going to live this life why not do it to the fullest & practice rock climbing just for the purpose of living life to the best of my abilities (grrrrr). God wants all of us to be the best we can be. wat if everybody thot like i had for a moment & saw no reason to even attempt to be the best they cud be. how cud we live without those ambitious groups of people who turn out to be governors, presidents, & leaders? if everybody thot like that there wud be no ministers to lead us in the path god wants us all to take. we just can't afford to live like that. so just remember these the next time u get depressed about life, u are here on earth for a reason & God is on ur side & whatever u do has a divine purpose/nawaitu to fulfill ur destiny. ceeewaaah!

critical,

i'd try to self motivation, regardless of wat life delivers, we find that life runs a lot smoother. the blessings in our life are countless and priceless. we are truly grateful for what we have in life, & seek to please others. to bring others the blessings that we receive in life. we find that our lives are already abundantly beautiful just the way it is. we accept this moment, even in the most difficult times, to continue on in life, & to make life the best that we can make it. and we find that our lives are fulfilled in every way.

:)

talking with my silence, my silence of thoughts, my silence of actions, the silence of my heart..

butttttttttttt, sayang i feeeeeeeeeeeeeel hot hot hottttt :P