damai engkau disana,

it's been 1yr today. al-fatihah....
i miss u very much, how i wish to be longer with u....

tgif

hanyalah random thot di pagi hari di kala hujan sdang renyai-renyai di ibukota,

even wen u think there's nottin to miss out on...there's always something, if u look closely, i can actually understand now wat it means....life at this point makes me think about dat! any moment is so precious.....but sometimes we forget, we bury ourselves deep into dat PIT called work...let's face it - there r very few of us dat actually hv a true pleasure & passion for wat they do at work! & even those dat do....are they truly happy??? konfius...

ermmm well, i hope dat all's well dat end well...
rezeki tuhan beri, tugas yg di galas adalah tanggungjawab yg perlu dijalankan...


like my "rakan" dat has an incredible passion for her career & has sacrificed every free minute, holiday, birthday...time with people she loves in order to get things done at work ...to go ''above and beyond'' as they say in some places... at da end of da day...if u ask her ''are u happy?''....wat she'd say to me was...

HER!
''NOOOOO! but wen im not in work i dont know wat to do with myself...i feel lost...i try to socialize...but i never do...i hv meaningless one nite stands dat leave me feeling empty da next day. & maybe once every 2 months catching up with frens...as if we lived in different parts of da country. i do not know how to relax & enjoy myself. i can't stand being at home alone. dats why i prefer to work!''


ironically, anybody dat wud meet my fren wud envy her success & da goals dat she reached professionally. still spiritually she feels lost...she has not managed to blend success with a personal life. it's probably one of da hardest things to do...i wudn't know...as i always put my emosi dulu...& i hate it! but i guess dats wat makes me -

ME!
it's also hard for most of us to enjoy life & cherish wat we hv, realizing one day it can be gone in a second...i learned all about dat last January losing someone very dear to me! the shock's effects r on going...& it's affected every aspect of my personality...always thot i was da strong one....well i've been proved otherwise...im kindda my rakan too cuma i dont wan to admit i was same as her...nanti ckp tak serupa bikin pula, sgt maluuuu....kaver diri sendiri, LOL...

and how about LOVE? If in love - we shud love with a passion, completely, intensely...sounds like big cheesy words...but if u dont, is dat really LOVE??? or shud u just let dat go? it's probably best to let something like dat go, something dat doesn't make ur heart jump, dat doesn't make u smile wen u think of dat person, dat doesn't make u long for dat person...& so on...u get me right??...and being honest..to urself...therefore to those close to u..Yes sometimes we may hurt someone we care about by being honest....but in da long run we're doing them a favour! it can only make them stronger & give us a backbone! and isn't it so true dat sometimes we r unhappy but we keep quiet....thinking dat through da ''magic'' of silence, thots will go away - but they never do!

what u run away from, always comes back to u!
sometimes i run away from thinking about things...but today i decided im going to allow these thots in...and spread them in this so-called random, journal...blog apasaja lah u wanna call it u name it...

doubt anybody will read this but if u do - Thank u for ur patience,,,...!! winky-winky =P

yadayadayada

nadine : hye beb, what is ur resolution for this year...

me : argghhh, malu laah mahu kata..

nadine : errmmm, tell me laah...

me : mahu kurus spt beyonce..

nadine : erkkk....talk to da hand babe....grrr....

2010

assalammualaikum & hi to all frens/viewers,

here are my wishes for u..,
H ours of happy times with friends & family
A bundant time for relaxation
P rosperity
P lenty of love when u need it the most
Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures
N ights of restful slumber (u know - dont' worry be happy)
E verything u need
W ishing u love & light
Y ears & years of good health
E njoyment & mirth
A angels to watch over u
R embrances of a happy years!

goodbye 2009,
welcome 2010.....